Inspector Javert and the irrational arrest
by aPersonYouDontNeedToKnow
Summary: Javert chases Erik across Paris for an unreasonable offense. Azurite tries to stop him and meanwhile, little Gavroche plots a plan to steal Javert's hat.


Hannibal was being performed once again at the Opera Populaire on a snowy December night. Azurite would be singing Elissa and Erik would be silently watching from Box Five. That evening would be filled with action.

It all began when the brutal Inspecteur Javert decided to take the night off and go to the performance. He rudely ran through the crowd in the foyer to hurry and get a good seat.  
Backstage, ballerinas and the chorus scrambled to find costumes, rehearse, and grab a drink before the show. Azurite was already in her costume, scrambling through the backstage area to get into position. The overture began and the entire cast did the same.

No matter how pleasant the performance was, Javert always looked indifferent. Still wearing his hat, he sat still among clapping aristocrats in the third row. His hat was very visible to anyone onstage or in a box.

Bored, Javert looked up and saw a tall figure sitting in Box Five. He was wearing a white mask that covered half of his face and a black felt hat. He seemed rather pleased as he watched Elissa sing. Did he know the young woman? In a good or bad way? Javert impatiently awaited the end of the performance so he could investigate before anyone got hurt.

Azurite was triumphant that evening. The ballet girls were envious of her. Inspector Javert found his way through the party and questioned a few about the man in Box Five.  
"You there, you were wonderful."  
"Ah...thanks?"  
"Javert. Inspector Javert."

They shook hands.

"Y at-il une situation, inspecteur?"  
"I saw a strange man in Box Five during the performance. He seemed to especially enjoy your singing, mademoiselle."  
"Oh..well...I have many admirers in Paris, monsieur."  
"He was wearing a white mask."  
"Um...I don't know the man."

But of course Azurite knew her best friend. Inspector Javert was intimidating.

"Mademoiselle, I can assure your safety."  
"Thank you, inspector. But I'm sure there is nothing to worry about. And that's a fine hat you've got there."

Javert left to find the masked man, looking a bit freaked out by Azurite's last comment. Hopefully, his hat would remain on his head.

Azurite hit her head against the wall.  
"Sweet Jesus, what have I done..."

She quickly retreated to her dressing room, got changed, and hurried to find Erik. He was just leaving Box Five.

"Erik!"  
"Ah, I was just about to go find you. You were wonderful!"  
"Thanks."

She looked around to make sure Javert was not near.

"Erik, you should hide somewhere for a few hours and do your best to stay away from a man with a black police hat."  
"Is anything wrong, Azurite?"  
"A man named Javert came to me after the performance and said he saw a strange masked man in Box Five looking a bit too happy when I was singing."  
"What else did he say?"  
"He said he would investigate and assure my safety. He's being a bit irrational."  
"Why didn't you tell him I'm a friend?"  
"I wanted to, but he is very intimidating!"  
"Well, thanks for warning me. I'll try to avoid him."

Erik did see Javert and his hat in the foyer a few times. He tried to blend in with the crowd whenever the inspector looked back at him. Erik hurried to get through the crowd and went for a walk outside. He had to duck behind a barrel when Javert and and a few other police inspectors walked by.

"We need to find the masked man. He could be a danger to the young star of the Opera. She seemed a bit frightened when I told her she was being watched."  
"What does he look like?"  
"He wears a white mask over the right side of his face. He has a black hat and I believe I saw a black cloak."  
"I'm not sure about this, Javert. What if he's just an eccentric aristocrat?"  
"I'd like to interrogate him just to be safe."

They wandered around the Opera. Erik came out from behind the barrel when they went into a dark alley.

"Psst! Erik!"

It was Azurite.

"Sorry I got you into this mess."  
"It's alright. Where should I hide?"  
"I have no idea...but I'm going with you. If they find us both, it'll be a lot easier to explain."

It was too late. They had been spotted. Azurite ran away.

"You there! You're under arrest?"  
"What the...I committed no crime, inspecteur!"

Javert and his men started to chase him.

(Cue James Bond theme song)

Azurite managed to find Erik hiding in a tree.

"Azurite, please don't get involved..."  
"This looks like it will turn into something fun."

Erik smiled.

(Warning: Out-of-character humor and stupidity are still to come.)

"Oh no, they're coming!"

Javert had spotted them. They jumped from the tree and hid under the bridge over the Seine. Javert shook the tree but the only person who fell out was a young street urchin. He fell flat on the ground and extended his hand.

"'Ow do you do, my name's Gavroche!"

Javert just crossed his arms and stared.

"Say, that's a fine hat you've got there, sir. May I steal it?"  
"...No..."  
"Really? Thanks!"

Gavroche snatched the hat from Javert's head and ran off.

Azurite was a bit disappointed.

"Aw, dammit...I wanted that hat..."

Javert saw shadows under the bridge and ran after them. Erik and Azurite ran into Gavroche and they all fell into the snow. Azurite took the hat from Gavroche and put it on.

"Why, no, I don't look suspicious at all!" She happily exclaimed before running off with Erik.

Javert's men caught Erik as he was helping Azurite climb onto a rooftop.

"Let him go you idiots!"

When they refused to obey, Erik roundhouse kicked them and used his punjab lasso to tie their ankles together. Javert found them lying on the ground, unable to move.

"What are you imbeciles good for..."

He tried climbing to the roof of the building Erik and Azurite were hiding on but accidentally broke a window and fell into a woman's apartment. She was changing behind a screen. As soon as her bedroom window broke, she screamed, covered herself, and threw random things at Javert.

"Alright, alright! Calm down, woman!"

He climbed out of the broken window and climbed up to the roof. Azurite and Erik were running across the roof and jumping to other rooftops.

"Run, run, as fast as you can! You can't catch me, I'm the gingerbread man!" Azurite yelled.  
"Have you been drinking, Azurite?" Erik asked suspiciously.  
"What? No..."  
"Give up, Javert!"  
"NEVER! And you both have a lot of explaining to do!"  
"Oh, great. Now I have to hide too..."

Erik jumped into a chimney and Azurite climbed down the roof and ran into a dark alley.

Fortunately, the chimney was large enough for Erik not to get stuck. Unfortunately, there was a small child in the house. The little boy ran downstairs and into the living room as soon as they heard the crashing noise.

"Pére Noël? C'est toi?"  
Erik coughed. He was covered in soot.

The child was frightened and looked like he was about to scream.

"Um...greetings...I am...Zorro."

The little boy screamed.

"Oh, great..."

Erik jumped out a window as the boy's parents came downstairs.

"You could've used the door!" The mother yelled.

Javert found Azurite in the alley.

"Inspector, this is all a big misunderstanding."  
"Who the hell are you?"

She pulled her hood off.

"You? But you said you don't know the masked man! And give me back my hat!"  
"Look, I'm sorry I have to do this, but you leave me no choice. Oh, and I'm keeping the hat."

She punched him in the face and ran after Erik. He was being chased by Gavroche.

"Wait! Zorro! Come back!"

When Javert got up, he was a bit disoriented. He started chasing after Azurite the minute he became aware of his surroundings. On a much happier note, Javert now had a purple lump on his forehead.

There was a chase all around town; Gavroche chased after Zorro...Uh, I mean Erik, Azurite chased after Gavroche, and Javert chased after Azurite.

When Azurite finally caught Gavroche, they tripped and Gavroche stole Javert's hat from Azurite's head.

"See ya, suckers!" He yelled as he ran off.

Javert fell to his knees.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"It's only a hat you idiot..."

Erik slapped him in the face. Javert got up and went back to business.

"You're under arrest! Both of you!"  
"But...I didn't do anything. And neither did he..."  
"He is a pedophile, mademoiselle."  
"What the...first of all, no. Second, he is my singing teacher."  
"If you know him, why didn't you tell me when I asked?"  
"Because...BECAUSE..."  
"Why?"  
"Because you were yelling at me."

"Look! It's Gavroche!"

Gavroche was waving at them from the top a tall tree. They all ran after him and climbed up. Azurite snatched the hat and jumped down from the tree. Erik and Javert got stuck.

"How the hell did I get into this..."  
"You're the one who thought I was a pedophile, inspecteur."  
"I'm afraid of jumping down trees!"

Ten minutes later

"Will nobody come save us?"  
"Wait...why am I still here?"  
"I don't even know."  
"You're on your own, Javert."

Erik jumped from the tree into the hypothermic waters of the Seine. Azurite quickly helped hm out of the freezing water.

"Oh my! We need to get you somewhere warm!"

They walked back to the Opera.

"Guys? Um...hello? I'm still stuck here!"

~THE END~


End file.
